Conflicted self,

expels inauthentic venom;

purifies contaminated psyche,


attain clarity.



© Paul Nichol.  2015

  1. Gwenice Gwee says:

    I find this very relatable, often feeling conflicted myself.

    • Paul Nichol says:

      I am sorry to read you can relate to this poem, as its theme is still ever present and tangible to me and I can understand how troubling it can be. I believe I was born conflicted, as even at my great old age of 52, I cannot recall a time when I was not.
      There have been times of great clarity in my life, but those times I have discovered through perseverance and a belated endless journey of personal honesty. Authenticity of my soul is my clarity, disingenuousness the poison I expel. When I sense a confliction in my soul I know I am walking down the wrong path and correct my direction accordingly.
      To sense a confliction of the soul, is to recognise your soul. It is when we fight ourselves, we suffer our deepest wounds.

      Thank you for prompting to me write this response and sorry for the lecture..

      • Gwenice Gwee says:

        Wow. I was really surprised to see such a long reply from you, but it touches me that you actually took time to share this with me. I was feeling quite lost and helpless this afternoon, and I questioned many decisions I made. Thank you for sharing and while it is hard, I hope we can overcome our conflicted souls.

      • Paul Nichol says:

        It is better to be lost than to know where you are. To know you are lost, means you will endeavour to escape that place; to know where you are can instil a sense of contentment and stagnation and fear of change.
        I do not believe we ever make the wrong decisions for what might seem like the wrong decision in retrospect was the right decision at the time; otherwise why did we make it. What some people might perceive as my greatest errors where in fact my greatest achievements, but those are other stories.
        I am in a particular commutative mood today, normally I am less so…….

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