.
.
Our anniversary approaches
Yet only I remember
For you are dead
Time is nothing to you now
Alone in that deep grave
It black granite headstone
A vast mountain in my adolescent mind
Windswept, bleak in that winter of my life
A desolate peak I have yet to conquer
But which, I have carried alone for many years
On shoulders you thought too weak
Which borne your death
And did not buckle
Under the weight of you loss
The magnitude of my own guilt
The oppression of loud accusing voices
Verbal glaciers of naive insinuation
Hurled like frozen rocks
Upon my fractious soul
I who was sixteen
Took the beating
I Journeyed
Into darkness
Solitude
To the edge
Beyond words
Beneath touch
I lay within a living grave
Cut by your death
Dad
You should know Dad
Time has been good to me
Time which you forsake
For cheap cigarettes and cold beer
Has taught me that I was not to blame
That you were not a good Dad
That your heart was attacked
By both your body and your soul
That neither wanted to live
Beyond your misconceptions
Your lack of vision
Your weakness to be bold
And live
Denying my needs
My yearnings
For love
To be wanted
To be a son
To have a Dad
A friend
As our anniversary nears
For the thirty-third time
These thoughts travel on the dark waters of my mind
The moon of you shines more brightly now
Illuminating shadows fresh from the grave
Drawing deep waves of turbulent emotions deep into the night
Then down upon the rock my own secluded island
Which I broke from the mountain of you
With great inner strength
It is not with sadness or with guilt
That I mark your passing this year
It is with simple cold realisation
Our anniversary is about two broken men
A failed relationship
Lost possibilities
Unrealised love
That will once again slip by in the night
Fading quickly upon seas of morning tide
Returning all doudt to the darkness of the grave
Until next years.
5th June
.
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Heartbreaking . . . powerful . . . .
A difficult verse to write, I’m sure, but you did a beautiful job with it.
Thanks Lee, I just wrote what came into my head, sadly it is all true. Interesting you thought it verse; I was not sure what it was. The difficult part for me was clicking the publish button, an act of public acknowledgment?
I’m only a novice, but to me it was ‘free verse.’ No matter the label, I thought it extremely well done!
I’ve taken your good advice and given it the ‘free verse’ tag. Thanks again.
🙂